Jesus and jelly beans.

I'm really kind of tired of Sudanese food. You see, the Sudanese cook with an excessive amount of oil. It takes your body a long time to get used to it. But once you do you can bear it, but after a while, you begin to dread to eat! So I've finished ten weeks here, and it's been good. There are ups and downs about being here. Stressful situations as well as times when you just laugh your head off. But all in all, I've realized why you get an R&R every ten weeks. Being in a culture where things are so different really starts to weigh on you. There's only so much "adjusting" that can happen. You really can't get used to driving and walking in places where you know there's a possibility of stepping on a live land mine. Or even worse, seeing someone who's job is to find the active mines, and seeing that one has exploded in their face. Getting stopped in the middle of a dirt road and watching as they drag his body out and load him into a truck to rush him to the hospital is a bit nerve racking, no matter how long you've been here. Today was my last day of work and I fly out for two weeks tomorrow.
Oddly enough, I had my first run in with SPLA soldiers today. There's a long story behind the SPLA, but just imagine a military in an unsettled country, where all the soldiers are on a power trip, even when they are drunk at 10 am. Long story short, you try to avoid them as much as possible. So on my way to my last appointment for research I had five soldiers pointing guns at my face and yelling in Arabic. I mean they had every right to want to shoot me, I did run over a log in the road. I accidentally ran over a piece of wood that was set in the road as a check point stop, where I was waved through. But I guess you are supposed to be able to fit a Land Cruiser through a space about six inches wide without running over their very effective sticks. Either way, after they threatened to put me in jail, and take my (Samaritan's Purse's) truck with their AK47's in my face, they eventually said, "Ok, just go." Makes sense to me.
So at my last appointment I documented stories of more people that were brutalized by the opposing forces during the war. You know, it really sucks that you get used to hearing about people who watched their children raped and killed, or their spouses beaten to death right in front of them, or even those who were crippled by soldiers. Not for shock effect, but to listen to people talk about coming home from hiding in the bush and seeing dead bodies all along the road is common in my job now. But the crazy thing is that God was here the whole time. I don't know why he allowed it to be so bad, but his people never left his presence.
I had a three and a half hour drive back to Yei today and one of the leaders of the Pentecostal Church was with me. In conversation I asked him, "Moses, how can people tell me these stories of how all their children were murdered, or even seeing their wife raped and then killed, yet not show any emotion. I mean, how come they don't cry?" He replied, calling me by my Sudanese name, "Well Jeremiah, people here have become used to death. Seeing people who have been brutally killed was just a part of life. Once people initially morn and cry, they let go of that because they know there's more to come." How freaking sad is that? Our conversation went in many different directions but I later came back to the topic and asked. "How can I be beneficial to people personally when I can't come close to relating to what they've experienced?" His response blew me away, and made me realize one of the many ways that God uses people to influence others. Moses was wearing shades, even though the sun had gone in and it was raining. It was pretty funny. He was looking right at me, but I could only glance over occasionally because I was maneuvering the truck down the horrible road. Without even pondering my question he said, "Jeremiah, you just being here and showing up means the world to my people. You see, we know where you come from and how easy life is for you in America. Yet you come here and eat our food that is totally different from anything you've ever had." "Yeah," I said, "I even had fried termites the other day." He laughed and continued, "You even come and use our form of bathroom without a proper toilet. You hold our babies even though they might have a contagious disease or sickness. You've come from your comfortable world into ours. And our people know you have a heart for God just because you are here." Now this isn't an ego boost for me, but just a simple way that he's allowed God to speak to me. From that I realized, I don't have to pretend to be anything besides Jeremy. Jeremy freaking Thompson, the one that chose to come to Sudan. The person I was before I got here. You see I thought I needed to pretend to be like a Baptist Preacher or something. But they love ME, my tattoos, ear rings, the whole nine. God puts us in situations sometimes and just wants us to be. We think we need to create this other person to be around those we are trying to relate to about Christ. He made us in his image, even if you LOVE jelly beans (and really miss them by the way) and my brothers and sisters here love termites, it's ok because we are united in Christ and that's all that matters. I feel like Paul should have wrote a letter in the gospel that says, "If you love Jesus and jelly beans, that's fine. Don't pretend you're someone who only thinks of the Bible and old hymns and parts his hair on the side.. It's ok to like jelly beans and Jay Z." We are united in Christ. Sounds simple, but when you realize the truth in that, it's pretty cool. I'm me. And the people here are cool with that. It's so crazy that on my last day before break I realize God just wants me to BE here. He's already doing his will, and just using us to do the work.
So just be you. Eat jelly beans, and listen to Jay Z. Even if the ones around you don't. Christ said, "Let them remain in me, as I am in you." We can all remain in him and not have to look alike. Christians don't have to drive mini vans, they don't have be vegetarians, or only wear shiny black shoes, they can eat termites, or jelly beans, they don't have to smell like your grandfather's cologne, be able to quote C.S. Lewis, wake up before 7 am, they do however have to be in Christ, reflecting him on a daily basis. Wherever they are, and whom ever they are around. So make some new friends, stop just having philosophical/theological discussions with the people you've known for years. Meet someone from another country, or someone that's a different color than you. Say hello to the drunk guy on the coroner. Find the people that no one else even notices, and just be you. Search out the ones that you would never even try to get to know. Even though you might try their termites, and even like them. You don't have to start eating them all the time to prove a point. You don't have to be anything but you. After all, you like jelly beans, and Jesus is cool with that.