"I can wear flip flops to work."

So it's hot in this part of Africa. Real hot. It's amazing how the weather can affect your attitude, your mood, and even your view on the world. When the weather's fine, so is your life. When it's hot and humid, your life is frustrating and falling apart. When it's cold, nothing is happening in your life, everything is at a standstill. So how do the people here cope with the heat? This isn't even the hot season, this is what they consider cool! So, everything already seems frustrating and annoying to me now, what would I do if I had to live here when it's worse? I can't imagine how life was, let's say four to six years ago, when there was a war going on in this heat. Not only were people dying everyday, but you were sweating day and night with no relief. With heat comes thirst, but thirst does not necessarily bring water. Or should I say clean, safe water. So as I'm assessing the final church for this area, I'm hearing all these struggles the people faced, and all I could think about was how hot I was. "You mean you had to put up with all of these things, in this heat?" I can't even begin to attempt to imagine what all those hardships were like. I can't even take the weather! So what's the purpose of all this struggling? I can't answer that. God can. But I can't.
You see God's will is perfect, and his plan is decided. When I hear these stories of suffering that's all I can depend on is His infinitely perfect will. The one thing that keeps ringing true no matter what part of South Sudan I am in, is that people's faith grew tremendously while they were at war. If all you had to depend on was a miracle, would you just give up, or would you put all your hope in that? The people of South Sudan are the epitome of faith to me. We always hear that faith is the belief in things not seen. I've learned from being here that faith is the belief in something so impossible that it makes other people think you are losing your mind. If a mother has a baby on her hip, and there is gunfire less than a kilometer away, her husband was just killed by a land mine, and her church is burning behind her, why would she in her right mind think that child is going to survive? But she does, and you can't tell her any different! God will protect that baby. And he did. God blesses us, and he gives us wisdom. He makes us whole and we know that we can depend on him to come through for us. All of that becomes real when you are in this mother's situation.




In those moments, your confidence in these beliefs, that defines your faith. When you believe something in your heart, and not just in your mind, that is faith. How can I ever allow my faith to grow deeper when all I can do is worry about the heat? I pray that God will grant me the opportunities to gain just a fraction of the faith I've experienced here.
In addition to that, I know that my life is changing because of the people I'm encountering. My worries before coming here, are not my worries now. My desires for my personal gain is not the same. I've realized that the more I have, the more I want. When I look at people who literally have nothing, I make myself sick. My opinion, countless possessions are not a blessing, they are a curse. They merely take your mind off of God, and weaken your chances of strengthening your faith.

The Prosperity Gospel is for weak minded people. (Sorry Mr. Osteen)
Before coming here, I was excited that I was going to be living in Sudan. I've realized now, you don't live in Sudan, you experience it. Maybe you are tired of hearing me talk about Sudan like it's the only place on earth that needs help. To that I would say, while I'm here, it IS the only place that needs help. I was told by a very respected person before coming here that, "If you're heart is right in coming here to Sudan, no where else will matter while you're here. If it's not, Sudan is going to eat you alive." I think he knew what he was talking about. While I miss people back in the US, I don't miss the US. God is using these experiences to change me, and it's already began. I have only been here for about eight weeks now and I have about forty four left on the contract I signed. Plus all the weeks on the future contracts I'll sign. I'm sure there are a lot more things God will show me, ways he will change me, and things he will make me excited about. Because let's face it the first week I was here, the thing that excited me the most was that I can wear flip flops to work.