So I've spent the past couple months in Yirol, South Sudan. After coming back from Christmas vacation in Zanzibar, Tanzania, I flew in to Rumbek. Rumbek was once considered to be developed into the capital of South Sudan. After a day or two there, I made the 3 hour drive over to Yirol. In between the two areas there are vast amounts of water and wildlife. To see birds that are four feet in height, families of baboons, and an abundance of other animals was quite the "African" experience. Upon reaching Yirol, my first impression was that it was just another South Sudan village. Indeed it is, but it was so much more. On the compound there we live in mud tukuls very similar to that of the locals. There was no power, it was hot, humid and just boring for the first few days. So as I got my lists of villages together to research and hired a translator, it was just another day in paradise. But I soon came to love Yirol so much. Aside from the fact that I was very sick for a couple weeks and had no idea what the problem was. There are many security issues and tribal conflicts sometimes on a daily basis. I had more things to go wrong with my work in Yirol than anywhere else I've been. Although I still had an appreciation for the area and the people. The locals of the greater Yirol area are all Dinka. There are many sub clans of people within the Dinka however. Those sub clans tend to rival each other frequently. From cattle raids, to arguments, to all out fighting and killing, the sub clans don't get along all the time. But the people I encountered in Yirol had a tremendous impact on my life. Sadly a lot of people in conflict areas, or areas that are suffering, have figured out how to embellish their story to receive pity. For someone like me, who wears my heart on my sleeve, they can smell me coming. But the people in the bush areas of Yirol haven't had enough people from NGOs around to grasp this concept yet. So what I usually ended up with, was being face to face with someone who had never really been helped. I witnessed things in Yirol that I've read about here in Sudan, but never actually seen, at least not to the extent that I witnessed here. One day while traveling back from Bunagok, an area about two hours into the bush from Yirol, I saw children drinking from he dirtiest water I had witnessed yet. In Bunagok the boar holes dry up this time of the year. There won't be water available again until the rains come. When I saw the children gathering the water to drink, I stopped immediately. I wanted my translator to tell the children to boil the water before they drank it. The kids just started laughing, and continued drinking it. A similar case was in the town of Bunagok, I saw a kid with a plastic bottle filled with mud. My first guess was that my small friend was just playing with the bottle. Soon he removed the cap and began to drink the water off carefully keeping the dirt in the bottle. I told him to stop drinking that, it was going to make him sick. He just smiled and continued drinking. The people of these areas usually know the water isn't safe, but what would you do if you were that thirsty and had water in a bottle? Even if you knew it would harm you, you'd do the same. And so would I. Because of the water issues, food is also scarce in these areas. There is no cultivation this time of the year because the ground turns to a bone dry desert. WFP (World Food Program) has a strong presence in these areas and they are distributing maize flower and oil for cooking. So to meet some of the people that I've met, and have some of the conversations I've had, I have so many questions. The first obviously being "Why?" Why do these people have to suffer so much? Why do we have it so well? And why do we not take more time to seek out people who are suffering and lend a hand? Surely we could spare $20 to an organization that's helping, or better yet give of our self to help. I've developed this theory while traveling and living in Sudan. Generosity isn't so much a choice as it is a responsibility. Selfishness is a horrible disease that every person on the planet has, some worse than others. Some people use ideas such as these as the punchline to jokes to take the emphasis off the fact that they themselves do nothing to help anyone outside themselves. Now it's easy for us, especially me, to do things or give to those that are special to us. Someone whom I love or care about, it's easier to give. I try my best to show those that I care for how much I care. But I don't have that same drive for people I've never met, until I'm placed in their situationa and I can see the suffering. I've been told by some that you can't save the world and it's ridiculous to give up everything for an ineffective cause. But many years ago a group of people had similar beliefs. Even you don't possess faith in God, you have to admit that this is admirable.

³²All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. ³³With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. ³⁴There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales ³⁵and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
- Acts

If we, the progressive world, adopted this lifestyle, people would think we were crazy. I mean, everyone can rise above their situation and be self sustaining no matter what their circumstance, right? Absolutely not. Some people need help, and if all those who aren't trying to help are just criticizing, then they shouldn't help. Give freely, not because you feel convicted. But if you do feel convicted, good. We should.

The Prominent Antidote (Agape')

When did we lose our sense of caring, was it ever really there?
Often people in need hope it exists, but we’re usually unaware
Faith and hope quickly turn to despair, unless you intervene
Sources of adequate assistance tend to ignore the obscene

Hardship doesn’t exist to those who never experience it
So help who? Because of ignorance, they never consider it
Love is the answer to cure all problems many people would say
And truthfulness does indeed define those things that are cliched

So this word love, has to broken down for us to understand its depths
There is so much more to love, than emotion, ideas, or helpful concepts
For how can one have this thing called love equally, in so many areas?
It renders almost useless, when it’s used to describe everything we cherish

Can I have the same feeling for a certain type of music that’s appealing?
And for the living God that I plead in prayer to, when I am kneeling?
Is it possible for me to feel the same way about my favorite type of food?
That I feel about the most important people in my life? No, this is misconstrued

All of these things I say “I love,” but it is a lack of vocabulary to express the difference
We’ve given ownership of this expression to one word, granting it volume in appearance
True love is only found in the things that we put above ourselves, and then sacrifice for
This is the type of love designed for me to offer a wife, in excessive, tremendous outpour

To find something that you would take care of and protect, even before yourself
Is to realize life is worth living, worthy of that which is always new to you, fresh off the shelf
This is true love, and examples of it stay in our minds, they are never lost in the past
In putting others before ourselves, true love will be the only thing that will forever last

This is what drives those few people in history, to devote themselves to the less fortunate
Equal sacrifice, not equal giving, makes the differences in the world more proportionate
When, or shall I say if, you actually find this true love, allow it to consume your being
Because life without this love is like surrounding yourself with beauty, and not seeing

Got it made.

Sundays for me are usually pretty event less here. It's our only day off and all the guys try to make the most of it, 4 hour naps, watching movies, etc. I can't really sleep in the daytime so Sundays go by so slow for me. This morning I got up, showered, had my coffee and a mandazee and went back to the tukul. I started reading in Hebrews and read through James. Reading in James reminds me of when I first started actually studying the bible. James was one of the first books that I actually "studied." Hebrews is one of my favorite books though. I've read it many times and each time I usually get something different from it. So after reading the entire book, I came away with one thing. Go to Christ when I have issues. I know that's not that deep, but that stuck with me threw the entire book. I did get some other themes that were in my mind briefly, but mostly, go to Christ when I have issues. I picked that up in Chapter 4 verses 14-16.

14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

I always knew to go to God with my problems or when I stumble, but this passage is significant to me where I am right now. I've been in Sudan for six months or so now, and I've had the time of my life. I've met amazing people, heard amazing stories, and seen amazing things. All along I have known that God is with me, that's never been a question in my mind. I've made decisions that probably weren't the wisest, simply because I had put aside the fact that Christ has experienced life on earth. I had an image in my mind that God would guide me, and he's all knowing, but that some decisions I could make on my own because of the situation I was in. But Christ came to save and redeem us and he did that. But in doing that, he lived a life surrounded by sin. So, as it says in verse 16 we should approach him with confidence, because he's been there. Anything you are struggling with, not only can he help you through it but he's experienced it. That should be so comforting to us. I'm not perfect and never will be, but I can't ever say to God, "you don't understand what I'm going through." Because he does. So for someone all knowing and full of grace who's been there and done that, I need to consult him in decision making more often.
I've enjoyed every minute of being here so far, but it will be nice to get a break next week. I'll fly to Nairobi Kenya on Tuesday and spend a few days there before flying to the U.S. on Friday night. I'm looking forward to coming home for a visit and getting a break. But I will miss certain things here. Parts of the culture and experiences in Sudan have started to become a part of me. Waving at smiling children that I pass on the road is part of my life now, that's not offered in the States. Hearing amazing testimonies of faith are everywhere, but the one's here are special to me. I can't relate to them, but I'm living in the country where they took place. Hardships are different in extremes worldwide. I can't imagine what it would be like to live the way everyone in South Sudan did for nearly 21 years. Some starved to death. Some died of malaria. Some were killed by soldiers. Some died from child birth. Some were random accidents while living on the run. The list could go on and on. I can't relate to their situations or even the evil that was spilled out in this country during the conflicts. But Christ can. He's stared that evil in the face and defeated it for us. He was tempted for forty days and forty nights in ways I could never imagine. The Son of man had to endure temptations I'll never know and it's sad from our point of view. But from God's point of view it's perfect. His grace is never ending, He can and does sympathize with our weakness in temptation. He didn't give in as we always do, and that must have been hard as hell. I'm grateful for his strength, and for working out a miracle that his strength would cover my weaknesses. We've got it made from every angle of this thing, but most of us don't even see it.

LRA Displacement

Back in July I was assessing churches in Lainya for the Church Reconstruction Project. As I was driving into the bush to meet with a congregation in Nyangele, the Assistant Bishop of Lainya informed me that we were meeting the congregation but that it would not be in Nyangele. They had been displaced by the LRA and had fled to Lokirarat which is about ten miles from Nyangele. After that assessment, I knew the people would need to return home soon, or they would start to burden Lokirarat’s food and water supply. I left it at that, and continued with my assessments.
A few weeks back I was assessing another congregation close to Lokirarat. I met the Chief of Lokirarat, Joseph Kwaja, and he informed me that the group of displaced people were still in his area. They had now moved to Lokoruba, which is about twelve miles from Nyangele. He informed me that their situation was not good at all. Upon arriving back in Yei I informed the Program Manager and we immediately went to UNHCR to report the group’s situation and their needs. I felt it necessary to follow up with the people personally. After discussing the displaced people with others at Samaritans Purse, we decided it best to go in and do an assessment of the village.

On October 2nd, we left the compound in Yei and headed to Lokoruba. After about a two hour drive we arrived in Lokoruba. The village was down a walking path, so we parked our truck and began walking. Upon reaching the village we saw many make-shift houses. There were crops planted which made us happy to see. As we explained to the leader of the village what our purpose for coming was, he quickly rounded up all the necessary people to talk with. They began to tell us their story.

Gideon and Lemeri Nelson are brothers and were there the day the LRA came in. They were kidnapped, but later released. Gideon explained that as they were resting from working in their garden, they saw the men making their way into the village. There were around 36 members of the LRA who began to get people together, and steal all of the village’s supplies. They left with around 42 people, and everything the village had to survive on. Gideon told us that the LRA made them carry everything that was stolen all the way to Mundri, which is about 100 miles from Nyangele. Once in Mundri the LRA released 38 people and kept 4 children. The 4 that were kept were 2 boys and 2 girls, all around age 12. Those children haven’t been seen since that day the other 38 left from Mundri.

Once the LRA left the village, the remaining people all fled to Lokirarat. They stayed there 2 months, before going to Lokoruba. The people have suffered from many sicknesses and diseases since arriving in Lokoruba, ranging from diarrhea to malaria. “We stay hungry because of the diarrhea,” one man told us. There is no proper health care in Lainya, so the people aren’t receiving any treatment for their health problems. Food has been another struggle. They were given a small amount of food back in July from the Catholic Church in Yei, but haven’t received anything since. The men in the community have started hiring themselves out as casual laborers and buying food in the market with the money they make.
They get one meal a day usually consisting of beans, posha, and greens. They have planted ground nuts, okra, field peas, and potatoes. Another NGO, Malteser, provided them with a hoe and a pick ax to use for cultivating.

The community is lacking basic living necessities though. They do not have proper latrines. They are using areas just outside their living space which is very dangerous. They are also not burying dead animals which can cause sickness and disease. There is not a boar hole close enough to them to get clean drinking water from. They have been drinking river water that is not boiled, which is causing a lot of their sickness. They have make-shift houses, with no protection from mosquitoes at night. There aren’t even any mosquito nets to sleep under in the village. They informed us that just last week two people died from malaria. The two people were a married couple and also the parents of the children the LRA did not release back in June. There are a total of 173 people who are displaced. There are about 100 adults, and the rest are children.
Since fleeing Nyangele in June, 15 people have died from various causes, a few even from starvation. The village is in serious need. We hope to be able to partner with them to provide some sort of medical attention. Many of the children have scabies and other easily curable illnesses. We checked around thirty children for malnutrition, and three of them showed strong signs of extreme malnutrition. The LRA is a very evil group of people who has displaced this entire community, along with many others. The people of Nyangele do not deserve what has happened to them. They do deserve God’s love and provision just as everyone else does. I hope we can see what God would have us as an organization do for the people of Nyangele.

Just this week I went to Nyangele to take photos of where the people used to live. It was a very eerie experience. As we pulled up, after about a two and a half hour ride into the bush, everything was abandoned and has grown up. There were still chairs and a table in one tukul with peanut hulls on the table. My translator and I walked around taking photos and just looking in on their church, clinic, market, and all the homes. I can't understand how a group of people can be so evil. The LRA needs to be stopped. A country that's just come out of 21 years of civil war, is still suffering at the hands of this evil group and their even more evil leader. I, as an American, can't even fathom what these people have gone through. Please pray for the people from Nyangele. It's just the name of a village half way around the world to most who will read this, but I've shook their hands. I have spent time with them, talked to the people, held the babies, and played with the children. God hasn't forgotten about them, and neither can I.

Highs and Lows.

The past few weeks since I returned from Zanzibar have been, how should I say, eventful. Upon returning back, I slipped right back into work, going out and researching different areas. I ran across a group of refugees again, and heard that there situation has gotten worse since I saw them last. They are now having problems with food, and have lost 6 people in the last 3 weeks to starvation. I reported them to the UN to try and get some food in for them, and I'm going to check on them again this week. I plan to take a nurse with me to evaluate them, and see just how malnourished they are. Not far from that village, we heard reports that an NGO's vehicle ran over an anti-tank land mine. I was heading in that direction the next day and saw it. The anti-tank mine was planted in front of a school, sometime during the war. The vehicle that ran over it belonged to an organization that helps with education in Sudan. The driver and his passenger were leaving the school when they detonated it. Only the passenger survived. It was a bit eerie to stand in front of what I couldn't even recognize, was a truck. I could see blood on the seats, and there was a huge whole in the ground from where the mine exploded. It was quite the reminder to stay on the roads. There are mines all over that haven't been discovered yet. We have a few different organizations that devote their days to searching, finding, and removing land mines.
A similar discovery was made a while back at a site where Samaritan's Purse was planning to build a basketball court. Three RPG's (rocket propelled grenades) were discovered, undetonated in a tree right beside the primary school here in Yei. They were removed right before the basketball court was dedicated this past Saturday, which brings me to my high for this week, among all these lows.
Joe Wilson, who left for good on Sunday had come up with the idea to build a court for the kids here in Yei. Luckily he got it finished in time to dedicate it on Saturday, and be able to play basketball with the kids before he left. It was a great way to end an otherwise rough week. We had a blast. It's pretty awesome to have about thirty kids between 4 and 14 chasing you around the court trying to steal the ball from you. We were out there literally all day with those kids, it was a great way to just enjoy being in Sudan with nothing to worry about for a few hours. I don't have anything intellectual to add to this. I haven't connected the dots of why the things I've experienced these past couple weeks were significant. But despite the lows I had, I still know that I'm "home" here. Let's see what this week has in store.

Let it rain, let it rain.

So it's the rainy season here, which is an understatement. For the deep south of Sudan, it doesn't just mean water falling from the sky. Rain makes everything so pretty and green but it also causes problems along the way. For one the roads become somewhat like driving on. . . . . .I don't know. . . . . . Vaseline? Especially on a quad (sorry a four wheeler, I'm still southern) the word "steering" doesn't exist. It's more like you are just moving in a direction and you hope you continue that way. The rain can also create a bit of a problem for my work, doing research, in that no one will show up to the appointments if it's raining. Since virtually no one owns a car here, and for some reason everyone is terrified of rain, when it does rain life seems to stop in Sudan. This is just one of many things that have become part of my everyday life, and I guess in a way, part of who I am.
This week has involved a lot of traveling back and forth for me, but I can't complain. Riding around in the bush here on a four wheeler is like every guy's dream come true. Back in the day we used to look for cool and adventurous places to take our four wheelers, especially where there's lots of mud, and now everyday on the road is one of those places I used to dream of. I'm learning to find huge appreciations in small things. For me, it's made my life simple and I love that about me right now. I've seen some bad things and heard some even worse stories, but there are those times when something small happens and you hear that voice in your soul say, "This is what it's all about."
Let me give you a couple examples. Just the other day I was driving back to Yei from an assessment in the bush and as always I was passing by many people walking, riding bicycles, motorbikes etc. You always see kids along the road, and they usually just stare in amazement and slowly lift their hand to wave. The sight of a white person on this strange looking thing that's not a motor bike, and it's not a car, baffles them. I always try to appreciate seeing the children here, because I know one day when/if I leave Sudan I will miss seeing their bright smiles. As I approached a group of children I noticed right away that they had stopped dead in their tracks along the muddy road to see just what the heck was coming at them. As I got closer I noticed one little boy, probably 8 or 9 years old laughing. He threw his hand up as if it might be the last time he got a chance to wave. As soon as I waved back he began jumping up and down and laughing like I had just made him the happiest he would ever be in his life. This entire galaxy could not contain his excitement. I don't think I've smiled that wide ever in my life. I wanted so badly to stop and just hang out with those kids for a while. The sight of me and that I had acknowledged him had made his entire day. But his reaction to me made my entire time here. For the next several kilometers of my drive, with Dave Matthews playing on my IPod, I was as content as a person could be. The road sucked and so did getting sun burned, but that little kid, who I'll probably never see again had an impact on me. I don't know his name, or even what village he's from, but his smiling face, and him jumping up and down, is permanently etched in my mind.
Example two happened today at one of my assessments. I was greeted warmly by roughly 80 people or so singing and dancing. The assessment went very well, and I felt great about the meeting. As it usually happens, we were presented with a soda, and a bottle of water. The village I was in is very deep in the bush, so I know the trip to get the soda and water was probably taken yesterday or the day before, just so me and my translator could have a soda. As we wrapped up the assessment I opened my water and began to drink it while I made small talk in broken Arabic with the pastor. As normal everyone in the congregation had their eyes locked on me, because I am so different looking basically. I noticed a small boy near the front that looked so freakin' cool. Like that kid is going to be the man when he gets older. He was probably around 5. I feel a bit shameful saying this, but up until now I've never done what I decided to do. I said to myself, ya know what, I'm gonna give that kid my soda. I had my translator call him up to me and he began to make his way up to the front where I was sitting. He seemed a bit nervous and hesitant, but as he reached my translator told him in Arabic what I wanted to give him. He lit up like a Christmas tree. As I opened the soda (Mirinda, which is my favorite drink in Africa) and handed it to him, he strutted back to his seat like he had just won a Grammy. I noticed him looking at all of the other kids with a look on his face as to say, "Yeah, check me out, the white man gave me a soda, you all know you're jealous." It was priceless, and yet another person God has used to show himself to me. I think God hides himself in the innocence of children hoping that we will see it. Usually we don't, we have too much going on and the children are always pushed to the side at a function like the one we had today. But on the road the other day, and under those enormous mango trees where that church meets, I caught a glimpse of God in those children.

Zanzibar the Door Katie!

............Ahhhh, Zanzibar. The most amazing place on earth. . . . . so far. Well my trip started out with an hour and a half flight from Nairobi, Kenya straight onto the Island. We (Matt and I) made our way to the hotel where we were staying in Stone Town and struck out to find FOOD! We ate at Mercury's the first night. Side note, Freddy Mercury the lead singer of queen was born in Zanzibar, so there's tons of Mercury's this and Mercury's that. We spent a couple days in stone town looking around in the market and checking out the local scene there. After that, we took a shared taxi up to Nungwi where we spent the rest of our trip. Nungwi is at the northern tip of the island. Our room, at Union Beach, was only feet from where the Indian Ocean washes up on shore. It was a perfect spot to do some relaxing. We met several different people (mainly Europeans) who were traveling and had come to Zanzibar. Many divers go there to dive in the Indian Ocean. The little bungalo we stayed in is partly owned and operated by Dumi. Dumi is one of the coolest guys I've ever met. Everyone in Zanzibar is so layed back, they realize they live in paradise. So each night Dumi and his crew would set up the dinner tables right on the beach and we would have grilled seafood that was usually caught the same day. I tore it up! Crab, lobster, red snapper, white snapper, dorado, and the best calamari you've ever had!
Tanzania is predominantly Muslim, and we happened to plan our little vacation right in the middle of Ramadan. We weren't affected by it that much though, being in the tourist section everything carries on as normal. Ramadan is a holiday celebrated every year, and it lasts for a month. The practicing Muslims fast all day up until 6:30 pm. No food or water, they can work their job, but can't have any leisure activities. So in some parts of the market you would have to respect the tradition and not eat or drink in public, but on the beach everything stays open and you are free to do what you want.
Before we went up to Nungwi we met Nancy, who joined us on our way up and tagged along with us for a few days before she headed back to the mainland. She was from the U.S. and was taking three months to travel through out Africa. Among many Europeans, we also met Ollie who was there to dive the Indian Ocean. He also climbed Mount Kilimanjaro which is a huge feat. While at Kilimanjaro he had an opportunity to volunteer at an orphanage and told us many stories about that.
Our last two days there, we met Latel who is from Israel. She was about our age and had come to Zanzibar for two weeks of vacation. We met her while on a snorkeling trip. There are many smaller Islands around the main island, and we were able to go snorkel on the reef of one of those Islands. It was my first time, but quite an experience. All the different colors of fish blew my mind. And then being able to swim in with a whole school of fish, and they just swim right along side of you like you belong in the pack. It was awesome. When we finished snorkeling, the guides took us to the beach where they had prepared lunch, fresh fish, fruits, and bread. I highly recommend you go snorkeling the next time you're off the coast of Tanzania. If things go as planned, I'll be going back in November. I know there's tons of places to see in Africa, but whatever, I'm going back. Not that much about Zanzibar is bad.
Speaking of which, the one thing that will drive you crazy is the hagglers! People come up to you on the beach, in restaurants, on the street, everywhere, asking you to buy this or look at this. It's usually hand made jewelry or wood carvings, the stuff that you normally buy when you visit a place like Zanzibar, but it gets annoying constantly having to tell people, "No, I don't want anything, I'm ok." Even when you're in the market it's the same, and you have to haggle on prices for everything! That's really the only thing that's bad about being there though. I mean every night you see a beautiful sunset, eat great food, and it's all really cheap.
For example, you can get an hour long professional massage for about $10. I did take advantage of that a few times. . . . . . ok everyday, and even two some days, it was amazing. I've never been somewhere that I could get up, have breakfast, walk on the beach, get a massage, take a nap, have lunch, go swimming, get another massage, freshen up, have dinner and then chill with Dumi for hours and just talk, all for around $60 a day including what it cost for the room each night. So yes, Zanzibar was ok. I'm not trying to make you all jealous or anything. . . . . . but you should be.