Jesus and jelly beans.

I'm really kind of tired of Sudanese food. You see, the Sudanese cook with an excessive amount of oil. It takes your body a long time to get used to it. But once you do you can bear it, but after a while, you begin to dread to eat! So I've finished ten weeks here, and it's been good. There are ups and downs about being here. Stressful situations as well as times when you just laugh your head off. But all in all, I've realized why you get an R&R every ten weeks. Being in a culture where things are so different really starts to weigh on you. There's only so much "adjusting" that can happen. You really can't get used to driving and walking in places where you know there's a possibility of stepping on a live land mine. Or even worse, seeing someone who's job is to find the active mines, and seeing that one has exploded in their face. Getting stopped in the middle of a dirt road and watching as they drag his body out and load him into a truck to rush him to the hospital is a bit nerve racking, no matter how long you've been here. Today was my last day of work and I fly out for two weeks tomorrow.
Oddly enough, I had my first run in with SPLA soldiers today. There's a long story behind the SPLA, but just imagine a military in an unsettled country, where all the soldiers are on a power trip, even when they are drunk at 10 am. Long story short, you try to avoid them as much as possible. So on my way to my last appointment for research I had five soldiers pointing guns at my face and yelling in Arabic. I mean they had every right to want to shoot me, I did run over a log in the road. I accidentally ran over a piece of wood that was set in the road as a check point stop, where I was waved through. But I guess you are supposed to be able to fit a Land Cruiser through a space about six inches wide without running over their very effective sticks. Either way, after they threatened to put me in jail, and take my (Samaritan's Purse's) truck with their AK47's in my face, they eventually said, "Ok, just go." Makes sense to me.
So at my last appointment I documented stories of more people that were brutalized by the opposing forces during the war. You know, it really sucks that you get used to hearing about people who watched their children raped and killed, or their spouses beaten to death right in front of them, or even those who were crippled by soldiers. Not for shock effect, but to listen to people talk about coming home from hiding in the bush and seeing dead bodies all along the road is common in my job now. But the crazy thing is that God was here the whole time. I don't know why he allowed it to be so bad, but his people never left his presence.
I had a three and a half hour drive back to Yei today and one of the leaders of the Pentecostal Church was with me. In conversation I asked him, "Moses, how can people tell me these stories of how all their children were murdered, or even seeing their wife raped and then killed, yet not show any emotion. I mean, how come they don't cry?" He replied, calling me by my Sudanese name, "Well Jeremiah, people here have become used to death. Seeing people who have been brutally killed was just a part of life. Once people initially morn and cry, they let go of that because they know there's more to come." How freaking sad is that? Our conversation went in many different directions but I later came back to the topic and asked. "How can I be beneficial to people personally when I can't come close to relating to what they've experienced?" His response blew me away, and made me realize one of the many ways that God uses people to influence others. Moses was wearing shades, even though the sun had gone in and it was raining. It was pretty funny. He was looking right at me, but I could only glance over occasionally because I was maneuvering the truck down the horrible road. Without even pondering my question he said, "Jeremiah, you just being here and showing up means the world to my people. You see, we know where you come from and how easy life is for you in America. Yet you come here and eat our food that is totally different from anything you've ever had." "Yeah," I said, "I even had fried termites the other day." He laughed and continued, "You even come and use our form of bathroom without a proper toilet. You hold our babies even though they might have a contagious disease or sickness. You've come from your comfortable world into ours. And our people know you have a heart for God just because you are here." Now this isn't an ego boost for me, but just a simple way that he's allowed God to speak to me. From that I realized, I don't have to pretend to be anything besides Jeremy. Jeremy freaking Thompson, the one that chose to come to Sudan. The person I was before I got here. You see I thought I needed to pretend to be like a Baptist Preacher or something. But they love ME, my tattoos, ear rings, the whole nine. God puts us in situations sometimes and just wants us to be. We think we need to create this other person to be around those we are trying to relate to about Christ. He made us in his image, even if you LOVE jelly beans (and really miss them by the way) and my brothers and sisters here love termites, it's ok because we are united in Christ and that's all that matters. I feel like Paul should have wrote a letter in the gospel that says, "If you love Jesus and jelly beans, that's fine. Don't pretend you're someone who only thinks of the Bible and old hymns and parts his hair on the side.. It's ok to like jelly beans and Jay Z." We are united in Christ. Sounds simple, but when you realize the truth in that, it's pretty cool. I'm me. And the people here are cool with that. It's so crazy that on my last day before break I realize God just wants me to BE here. He's already doing his will, and just using us to do the work.
So just be you. Eat jelly beans, and listen to Jay Z. Even if the ones around you don't. Christ said, "Let them remain in me, as I am in you." We can all remain in him and not have to look alike. Christians don't have to drive mini vans, they don't have be vegetarians, or only wear shiny black shoes, they can eat termites, or jelly beans, they don't have to smell like your grandfather's cologne, be able to quote C.S. Lewis, wake up before 7 am, they do however have to be in Christ, reflecting him on a daily basis. Wherever they are, and whom ever they are around. So make some new friends, stop just having philosophical/theological discussions with the people you've known for years. Meet someone from another country, or someone that's a different color than you. Say hello to the drunk guy on the coroner. Find the people that no one else even notices, and just be you. Search out the ones that you would never even try to get to know. Even though you might try their termites, and even like them. You don't have to start eating them all the time to prove a point. You don't have to be anything but you. After all, you like jelly beans, and Jesus is cool with that.

"I can wear flip flops to work."

So it's hot in this part of Africa. Real hot. It's amazing how the weather can affect your attitude, your mood, and even your view on the world. When the weather's fine, so is your life. When it's hot and humid, your life is frustrating and falling apart. When it's cold, nothing is happening in your life, everything is at a standstill. So how do the people here cope with the heat? This isn't even the hot season, this is what they consider cool! So, everything already seems frustrating and annoying to me now, what would I do if I had to live here when it's worse? I can't imagine how life was, let's say four to six years ago, when there was a war going on in this heat. Not only were people dying everyday, but you were sweating day and night with no relief. With heat comes thirst, but thirst does not necessarily bring water. Or should I say clean, safe water. So as I'm assessing the final church for this area, I'm hearing all these struggles the people faced, and all I could think about was how hot I was. "You mean you had to put up with all of these things, in this heat?" I can't even begin to attempt to imagine what all those hardships were like. I can't even take the weather! So what's the purpose of all this struggling? I can't answer that. God can. But I can't.
You see God's will is perfect, and his plan is decided. When I hear these stories of suffering that's all I can depend on is His infinitely perfect will. The one thing that keeps ringing true no matter what part of South Sudan I am in, is that people's faith grew tremendously while they were at war. If all you had to depend on was a miracle, would you just give up, or would you put all your hope in that? The people of South Sudan are the epitome of faith to me. We always hear that faith is the belief in things not seen. I've learned from being here that faith is the belief in something so impossible that it makes other people think you are losing your mind. If a mother has a baby on her hip, and there is gunfire less than a kilometer away, her husband was just killed by a land mine, and her church is burning behind her, why would she in her right mind think that child is going to survive? But she does, and you can't tell her any different! God will protect that baby. And he did. God blesses us, and he gives us wisdom. He makes us whole and we know that we can depend on him to come through for us. All of that becomes real when you are in this mother's situation.




In those moments, your confidence in these beliefs, that defines your faith. When you believe something in your heart, and not just in your mind, that is faith. How can I ever allow my faith to grow deeper when all I can do is worry about the heat? I pray that God will grant me the opportunities to gain just a fraction of the faith I've experienced here.
In addition to that, I know that my life is changing because of the people I'm encountering. My worries before coming here, are not my worries now. My desires for my personal gain is not the same. I've realized that the more I have, the more I want. When I look at people who literally have nothing, I make myself sick. My opinion, countless possessions are not a blessing, they are a curse. They merely take your mind off of God, and weaken your chances of strengthening your faith.

The Prosperity Gospel is for weak minded people. (Sorry Mr. Osteen)
Before coming here, I was excited that I was going to be living in Sudan. I've realized now, you don't live in Sudan, you experience it. Maybe you are tired of hearing me talk about Sudan like it's the only place on earth that needs help. To that I would say, while I'm here, it IS the only place that needs help. I was told by a very respected person before coming here that, "If you're heart is right in coming here to Sudan, no where else will matter while you're here. If it's not, Sudan is going to eat you alive." I think he knew what he was talking about. While I miss people back in the US, I don't miss the US. God is using these experiences to change me, and it's already began. I have only been here for about eight weeks now and I have about forty four left on the contract I signed. Plus all the weeks on the future contracts I'll sign. I'm sure there are a lot more things God will show me, ways he will change me, and things he will make me excited about. Because let's face it the first week I was here, the thing that excited me the most was that I can wear flip flops to work.

"Pros and Cons"

So as I close out another day here in Juba, I'm reminded that every situation, and place in life has pros and cons. Did I have dinner on the infamous Nile River again tonight? Yes. And the shower that I use is fed water directly from the Nile. How many people can say that? So along with the hardships that I see, and the unfortunate stories I hear, there are these "pros" that make it all an experience. I assessed my first church here in Juba today and as I expected, the stories here are much different than any I've heard so far. As we settled in at the meeting, the members were very welcoming of us, because as far as they are concerned, we equal help. After brief introductions and such I began my assessment. We were reminded of how the civil war here in Sudan came to be, which is common knowledge to us now, and the ball was rolling. So instead of telling you the story that I heard today, let's make you the victim, and tell the story from your point of view.

Your church was started in the prominent city of your country and quickly the congregation out numbered the building. Soon you were meeting on Sunday mornings, and the majority of the congregation was outside the building, because they couldn't fit inside. This wasn't a bad problem to have. Except not too long after that, war came to your prominent city. Many of you fled away from the city to seek protection, while some of you remained. After all, home is home no matter what is going on there, right? So one day, this church that you are so proud of, and have seen God change life after life in is caught in the crossfire of the war. A propelled missile hits the building setting it on fire. So pause. This would be the last straw for some of us, because the things that happened up until this time were enough to push you over the edge.

Before the war even started, you were truly persecuted for your beliefs. You couldn't keep a job because of your religion. If you didn't denounce your beliefs and follow a different way, you couldn't even be in the military. Also, people of a different faith than you would go to your schools and bribe your kids with candy, sweets, and food like you couldn't afford, to get them to change their religious beliefs. But when you, or your children were fighting in the war, this same group of people would cry out to Jesus when being attacked. Upon being asked, "Why do you cry out to Jesus, you aren't Christian?" They would reply, "When you say his name, the bullets don't strike you." So from these types of experiences, the ones that mattered, people came to see the power of the God we serve. I use these examples and write in this manner to try and remain a bit politically correct. I don't want to seem like I'm "bashing," because that's not what I'm trying to do at all. I just realize how blessed I am to be free to worship who I want without my survival depending on it. How much easier is it to claim to be Christian when there's no consequences for being a believer. It would seem so much harder to remain a follower of Christ if that meant I might not be able to get food to eat. And every day I take that for granted. But not everyone does.

Some people have been truly persecuted for their beliefs. He said, "The world will hate you, because it hated me first." He knew what he was talking about, and it has proven to be true. So as I experience small amounts of sickness, or miss my friends and family, or even wish I had American food, it's not a drop in the bucket to how bad the "cons" of living in South Sudan has been for so many people. Everyone says "We're so proud of you," or "You're making such a sacrifice to be there." It's not a sacrifice at all. To hear these stories and see firsthand where God has been performing absolute miracles the past 21 years is the biggest "pro" you could ask for. It doesn't get any better than this. So if there's doubt in your mind about the God we serve, there is a way to fix that. Find where he's working and join in. You could never imagine how true the verse is that says, "When I am weak, he is strong." The world knocked South Sudan on it's back, lives were lost, horrible atrocities took place, but God was glorified even more because of it. And his people are more than happy to testify to that.